oh, hello there

Boy it has been awhile! Too long, really.

Do you ever find that the things in life you enjoy the most end up on the side because everything else seems more pressing? In reality, it wouldn’t be that hard to sit for ten to thirty minutes a day to do one thing you enjoy – for me writing – but the rest of the day just feels too draining. And by the time you sit down to enjoy a few moments, your enthusiasm is gone.

That is truly what I have been struggling with this year. My resolution (Living for Joy) really empowered me and drove me as 2017 started. And it still is. But other things start to jump in between your goals and you.

For me, it was a job search, a move, starting a commute for the first time in my life, adopting a puppy, and basically keeping sticks up in the air for whatever plates would fall so I could catch them and, hopefully, keep them spinning above my head.

Don’t get me wrong – writing this doesn’t mean the plates haven’t stopped falling, but they never will! Coming to terms with that is something I am still struggling with.

I always feel like I will get to a point where suddenly I’ll have a groove. You know, like those morning routine montages in movies where they don’t spill coffee on their outfit for the day and always wake up on time and always, miraculously, have time to make a sit-down meal and work out and shower and chat with their neighbor before leaving for work, like a well-oiled machine.

That is anything but me. I am the 15 year old lawnmower that you got from your second cousin for 10 bucks that is a little rusted and needs a kick on the side to start, but cuts that grass like a charm. And just like that mower, I need some TLC every once in awhile. So I’m going to jump start my blog again – hopefully this time with some consistency, and see if I can keep cutting the grass with new parts.

Perfection is, after all, impossible, no matter how stinking hard I try to be the clean-cut, filmic version of my life.

So here we go again… no montages-real life-coffee stains and all… (fingers crossed).

raina

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